Anyone who is anyone wants to compete in Crab Fair’s World Gurning Championship. Even Blue Peter’s Helen Skelton and Peter O’Hanlon tried vainly to establish for themselves the title of the World’s Ugliest Man and Woman, and their cameras were there ready to transmit the news to their eager fans. There were also strong contingents of challengers from Carlisle, Kendal, Manchester, Liverpool and Blackburn, some of them frighteningly good, like Liverpool’s Geraldine Barraclough. The upright judges, including Copeland’s Chief Executive, Mayor and Mayoress, correctly ruled that the titles rested with Tommy Mattinson and Ann Woods, however. Happy Hornell and Gordon Blacklock were runners up for the men’s title, and Anne Mellon and Clare Moffat for the women’s. Dominic Macdonald deservedly retained the junior championship.
There are toffee nosed folk who think that Crab Fair and particularly gurning are rather infra dig, but any fair minded visitor to the Market Hall on Crab Fair night recognised and revelled in a fantastic atmosphere. Is there another town in Britain which can cut across generation gaps so splendidly with its home-brewed entertainment? Grandparents and grandchildren shared the pride and the passion of the event. Gurning is not about ugliness but requires the art of an actor, using a beautiful face to create a horrifying image. When Tommy arrived to the strains of Carmina Burana, you could feel the flames of Hell and smell the brimstone.
The evening was not all about gurning anyway. Don Mackay sang passionately, setting inspiring standards for the junior talent competition, which was won by Jessica Pattison with a beautiful rendering of "Mercy". Singers and dancers showed serious talent. Daniel Shutt has never been so impressive as compère, proving a very talented singer, too. And Crab Fair Queen, Rhianne Downton, and her attendant, Shannon Wright, brought their own touch of grace and beauty to the evening.