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Let Jewish Humour
Have the Last Word!



by David Wood
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I grew up amongst Jews. Many were my friends at school- Simons, Praeger, Wolperwitz, Goldberg, Smidman -great guys. What we Gentiles really envied was that the sabbath for Jews began at sunset on a Friday evening until sunset on Saturday and as the autumn and winter drew on, Jewish friends went home earlier and earlier as the sun set, because many Jewish families observed sabbath very strictly, until eventually they seemed to have the whole afternoon off. Religion seemed quite a good thing.
So picture the scene. It's the Victoria Theatre, Salford, and a dark Saturday evening, the end of the sabbath day. The theatre is packed with Jewish men and women of all descriptions: we are about the only Gentiles there. And as ever when Jewish people get together socially, it's like a street market. The noise is tremendous, people shouting across the theatre to one another, leaning over the balcony, calling down, waving across. Total hubbub. Fantastic.

And the occasjpn, a Night with David Kossof, the great Jewish one-man show. For two hours or more he holds us spellbound with his story-spinning, and Jews love stories against themselves. Here is the only one I remember from that night:
The Yiddish Mamma is sitting at home. Her modem son has arrived home from the States with his new wife, a startling heavy blonde. Mother has not seen him for a long time, this is a flying visit. Eventually the young woman goes off to bed /eaving mother and son to talk.

Mamma: "Tell me Hymie, is she Jewish? "Hymie: "Ah well you know Ma, times have changed, you gotta go with the flow Ma, things aren't the same any more" (Pause).

Mamma: "Tell me Hymie, do you still keep the sabbath?"

Hymie: "Ah we// you know Ma, times have changed, you gotta go with the flow, things aren't they used to be."(LONG, LONG PAUSE.)

Mamma: "Tell me Hymie, are you still circumcised?" A great contemporary storyteller about Jews is Rabbi Lionel Blue who broadcasts and writes regularly for tbe Catholic weekly 'The Tablet'. No matter what the topic there is always a story .He tells how once as a young rabbi he was preaching away with great passion and all the while an old man in the front snored away. Afterwards Rabbi Blue remonstrated with him sadly, "You didn't hear aword I said". "Rabbi, Rabbi," the man replied, "don't take on so. I don't need to listen to you because I trust you so much".
I am a good mimic and when I was young one of the ways I could make people like me was to tell stories in the appropriate accent - Irish jokes about the Irish, Jewish jokes about the Jews, etc. When I slowly realised was that the only people who should tell such stories were the people themselves, Irish for Irish, Jew for Jew, because for me to do it was a put down. I was typecasting, stereotyping, it was laughing at them instead of with them, scapegoating them for our own stupidities.
The Jews so easily get a bad press. They are down the ages the classic people to run out of town. What is happening in Israel/Palestine is appalling, despicable beyond words and as a consequence anti-semitism is on the rise. There are those who even say the Jews deserved The Holocaust. What it is very important to recognise is that within Jewry there is Zionism and fanatical Zionism. Zionism is the drive to have a Jewish homeland in the historic territories of the Middle East. Fanatical, right-wing heavily political Zionism is the thirst to have this at any cost. There are many Jews who are Zionist, who want a homeland, but not at the cost of the vicious persecution, the cutting back and cutting down of Arab neighbours which we now witness in the daily news. Many, many Jews, secular and religious, are greatly disturbed at the human cost of implementing Zionism. We can thoroughly and decently oppose the government policy of Israel without becoming Jew-haters: there is no justification for the vilification of all Jews. It is not that if we are pro-Arab we are anti-Jew, it is that basic human decencies and human rights are being deliberately ignored. In Israel/Palestine there are many deep cross-national friendships and on both sides strong movements working for solutions through dialogue and non-violent means.
The Jews have always known how to laugh at themselves so let Jewish humour have the last word:- A passing ship sees a white flag flying on a desert island and investigates to discover a Jew who has been shipwrecked there for 10 years. The rescuing officer notices two huts built on the two hills of the island. the one beautifully constructed, the other a ramshackle. "The beautiful one," explains the Jew, "is the synagogue I have prayed in all these years." All fall silent in respect. "So the other one must be your home" says the officer, indicating the ramshackle one. "Oh no!" is the reply, "that's the synagogue I wouldn't be seen dead in." (source Lionel Blue).

 

 

 

WISDOM FROM WHITE EAGLE

Be confident. Be sympathetic to those who appear to you to be in darkness. Be neither condescending nor critical – but only loving. Think of them as children and love them. Then you will find that whatever is beautiful – you, yourselves, have helped to make it so.
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